Do you ever feel like you are just a comforter? I do. We should have enough of God in our life that we have power to help, not just comfort.

I know of a couple who have been married for almost 30 years. They have been Christians, faithfully attending church for most of their marriage. The wife has been terribly sick and both of them have missed a lot of church during the time she had surgeries and treatments. I believe Satan used that time that they were not being ministered to. The husband left his wife, getting into drugs. I don't think it was a matter of not loving her, or wanting to abandon her. I believe he backslid and didn't have the strength to stay with her when Satan fought the hardest. It was easier to leave than to watch her die. Now, she has been so hurt by his actions, and isn't ready to forgive. She says she can forgive him, but she won't forget. I don't know if she'll take him back.

I keep thinking that if they'd both get to where they can be ministered to and pray, the Lord will draw them back together. He'll help their hurt.

I know of another man, also having been a Christian, who went through injury and sicknesses, one right after another. He had been a former drug addict. They just kept putting him on one pain killer after another until he was so addicted that he needed stronger and stronger drugs. Now he sees a pain management specialist, but often doubles up on his pain meds, saying he needs more. Then he runs out of the meds and goes seeking them on the street. He's been out of church for a few years. He left while he was having this problem, after someone told him to just throw the pills away. Well, I went to see him, asking his forgiveness for not trying to reach him. I asked him to come back, and seek deliverance from the Lord. I told him we'd pray with him. Well, he was touched that I asked his forgiveness, shared with me a dream or vision. He said he was bound in a chair and couldn't even see. He only had an opening for his mouth. He said he knew there was a key there, but he could not get to it. He said church person after church person walked by, but nobody seemed to care to give him the key. He didn't know his wife had shared that with me earlier, and I cried when she told me. I had been praying for him and wanted to go to him, but didn't know how. Perhaps I should have prayed with him right there, but for whatever reason, we just talked. A few weeks later, he told his wife he felt like demons were making it so he couldn't leave his home to go to church and wanted to know if my husband and I had ever cast out demons. He wanted her to ask us to come over and cast the demon out of him.

When she asked, I told her I knew my husband wasn't in any condition to do that. He's not given up on the Lord, but I believe he is lukewarm right now. I would be afraid for him to attempt this, and I am afraid to do this alone. I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I do.

I love the Lord. I want nothing more than to be used by the Lord. In August I wasn't afraid to pray with a woman who was possessed by a demon. I wasn't alone either though. It helped that this all happened after a week long campmeeting and we were charged up. We had been praying and getting ministered to for three services a day that week, and it was wonderful. Now we're back to work, our time is taken and there's little time to pray and read the word. I admit I could put more time into prayer and reading the word, but I haven't. I used to pray and read the word during my lunch time. I still try, but there is a different woman sharing my room with me at work and the devil really uses her to come in and chat nonstop for most of my lunch time. I don't want to be rude, and no matter how I try to get back to my reading, she keeps talking and taking my time. I keep thinking I'll find another time,but the days come and go so quickly. I still believe, but I don't feel as strong as I did then.

I want to help these people to see deliverance. I can't explain it...the emotion I feel for their circumstances, the call I feel to intercede for them. Yet I feel so useless.