Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

  1. #1

    Help a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    I really need help, i mean i really mean it, this is not even funny at all, i have been an addiction the porn/masturbation, about almost 5 years, it really tough to stop, but to feel like a glue to my in head like a snap stuck, i am really fight battle with myself, still frustrating, so much struggling, i really need help, i have so much of like a jail of the guilty, i hate to feeling GUILTY. help me!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    1,547

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    You gotta bootstrap yourself, man. There's little else to say other than, like you say, it's very serious.
    Take it seriously, don't be weakling about it, and don't accept any excuses from yourself or give yourself any comforting tirvialities about it. Cut it out cold turkey as of this moment.
    A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
    -R.A. Heinlein

  3. #3

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    ok,which do i have to patience a while take it seriously to ignore the porn?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    1,547

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Quote Originally Posted by rebornkings777 View Post
    ok,which do i have to patience a while take it seriously to ignore the porn?
    Patience is a choice. Dig deep.
    A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
    -R.A. Heinlein

  5. #5

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Hm, ok then. i will see what can i do, if it work for me.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    under the pain of the wish
    Posts
    11,817
    Blog Entries
    16

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Quote Originally Posted by rebornkings777 View Post
    I really need help, i mean i really mean it, this is not even funny at all, i have been an addiction the porn/masturbation, about almost 5 years, it really tough to stop, but to feel like a glue to my in head like a snap stuck, i am really fight battle with myself, still frustrating, so much struggling, i really need help, i have so much of like a jail of the guilty, i hate to feeling GUILTY. help me!
    Okay. I need to explain two things. First, the combination of porn and masturbation is a powerful "drug" if you will. But the addiction is the result of the circular nature of the events that keep the addiction going: the need to feel loved, viewing porn, feeling guilty, the feeling of unworthiness, the need to feel loved, and etc. When you view porn, it gives you a feeling of "love", which is based on an imaginary fantasy. When we masturbate during a viewing session, our body responds as if the woman is real, which allows us to pretend that she actually wants us. We want a real relationship in which a woman wants us, or wants to be dominated by us, but we can't have one. So we settle for the next-best thing, which is "safe" and "harmless" and not illegal.

    After our life-source is spent, our hormones begin to return to normal, and the sexual passion is gone. This is when we return to reality and begin to feel shame and guilt, which can be a very powerful negative feeling.* We can barely live with such a strong emotion and seek relief, which usually comes from another session. We use the next porn session to mask the feeling of shame and guilt from the previous session, which is why the addiction is powerful and hard to break.

    The way out:
    One more thing before I give you the way out. When you decide you have had enough of the cycle of behavior/shame/behavior you are going to suffer during your recovery. The suffering is due to a psychological state where you will feel like you are going to die. You will feel like you are going to pass out, as if you stopped breathing, or you will feel extremely hungry, as if you denied yourself food. This is very important so I want you to understand what you have been doing to yourself. In your mind you know that what you are doing is fantasy and not real. But your body doesn't know it. Your body thinks that the sex is real, the woman is real, the feelings are real, but they are not. It's like watching a horror film; you know in your mind that the monster isn't real, but your body reacts physically as if he was real. Your pulse rate rises and you feel like running away. When you decide to stop using porn, your body will try to convinced you that it needs the stimulus in order to stay alive. A very powerful survival instinct will drive you back to a session, convinced that you will "live" once you perform. But this is a lie, and you know it in your mind though your body doesn't.

    The way out of the addiction circle is to break the cycle somewhere, and the best place to break the cycle is during the session itself. Deciding to break the cycle after a session simply allows you to convince yourself that you will -- next time. No, you need to break the cycle during a session and your salvation will come when you face the truth. Remember Jesus says that the truth will set you free, and the truth will set you free from porn addiction. Believe me.

    Lie #1: the woman isn't real.
    False. While it is true that your fantasy woman isn't real, the woman represented in the picture IS real. She has her own dreams, hopes, wishes, preferences, friends, and family. She is a real person with real feelings.

    Lie #2: the woman wants you.
    False. She is getting paid to pose for a picture. Some women do it voluntarily; others do it for drugs. But she doesn't know you, and she could care less about you. You fantasize that she wants it as much as you, but she doesn't want anything except a paycheck. It's her job. That's it.

    Lie #3: no one gets hurt.
    False. You are getting hurt just as you are damaging your own psyche. And, not only this, but your sessions affect how you look at and perhaps treat real women. When you walk down the street, you are sizing her up in your head, wondering what she looks like under that skirt and whether she would like to sleep with you some day. The truth is, we are all made in the image of God and we all deserve to be treated with respect and sympathy. When we walk down the street we should be thinking, "I wonder how she is feeling? Is she having a good day? How can I be kind to her? Does she need my help?". Each woman should be treated as a sister or a mother, not a play thing.

    Lie #4: no one is with me.
    False. God is always there, whether you ignore him or not.

    Truth:
    #1 You are loved. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. God loves you, for one. And he can help.
    #2 You are just as worthy of love as anyone else. You are made in the image of God and you have the dignity and significance of being one of his special creatures.
    #3 You will not die. Denying yourself of this pleasure will not kill you.
    #4 The woman is real. She is a person just like you.
    #5 All women are worthy of respect and kindness.

    Strategy:
    As I say, don't attempt to quit outside a session. You will need to quit inside of a session. Your strategy is to bring the truth inside the session with you. As you look at her picture, remind yourself that behind that picture is a real woman. She has a real name, and real parents, and real preferences and dreams and hopes and friends. You need to raise your awareness level so that while you look at her picture, you remember that God is there with you, looking at the picture with you. Try to see her the way God sees her. And bring your prayer life into the session. Pray to God saying, "God, I realize that this woman is a real person and I don't want to think of her as furniture or a toy or a plaything." Don't restrict your picture choices to body parts alone. Pick photographs in which you can see her face. Look intently at her face, focused on her eyes. You can tell she is faking it, though some women are better at it than others. Most pose as if they are approaching orgasm, but it isn't real. And you will learn to identify it as a fantasy.

    Learn to find the truth in every situation. Look at her body and acknowledge that her body is beautiful. It's okay to recognize when something or someone is beautiful. You aren't trying to run from the truth, you are trying to bring the truth into your life. The female form is both attractive and alluring and it gives you feelings. It's okay to acknowledge that. Don't run from it, acknowledge the truth, even while you admit to yourself that she is not for you. God made her attractive and he made you want her, but that isn't all you are. You are so much more, which is why you should NOT define yourself in terms of your desires. Bring the truth back into it and use your imagination in the service of your sympathy. You want love, you need love but make the love real. Find the truth in it and live by the truth of it.


    ___________________________
    *Such a feeling is a gift from God, that helps warn us of immoral behavior. We can use such feelings as occasions to pray, and ask the Lord for forgiveness, and help. I guarantee that the way out is possible, but it might take the power of the Holy Spirit to help you.

  7. #7

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Thanks, i will do that, your reply is a great worth what i read this.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    4,256

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    There's not much to add to what BroRog said other than my personal experience. Once I open that door, the floodgates open. I try not to go there. It's like drinking. If I don't pick the first drink I don't have to worry about the thousands that follow BUT if I drink that first one I'm done. I have no issues with porn (now) but if I go to a porn site and engage it, I'll be on it everyday. It's very addictive and it definitely steals intimacy away from sex. Internet porn destroyes marriages. Check out this story:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...marriage-.html

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Kosciusko, Mississippi
    Posts
    1,353
    Blog Entries
    265

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    I think the key word is FANTASY.

    I know this from experience: fantasy will never 100% satisfy you. It will always feel like something is missing, even if you don't CONSCIOUSLY REALIZE it. This whole thing can take you places you absolutely do not want to go.

  10. #10

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Hi,

    Have you tried taking the free Christian course for sexual addiction on settingcaptivesfree.com? The course is called the Way of Purity, and it is a 60-day free course. I have heard many great testimonies about it here: http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/c...way-of-purity/. I've even tried it myself, and I have to say many of the spoken principles to get rid of sexual addiction on it, work. One of those principles is how we have to "amputate" the source of temptation for us and throw out all access to it. Then the desire will fade away. The principle agrees with the scripture, "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It's better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell with two hands."-Mark 9:43. The hand here is not the physical hand, but an evil object that you became so attached to it's like a member of your body, a limb you are so joined to that it becomes hard to get rid of and hurts a lot to separate from. If magazines are the problem, for example, one needs to physically throw it out. If it's something one still needs access to like the internet, he needs to have someone either look after him every time he uses it or install a filter that also emails every pornographic website he visits to a trusted accountability partner. Another important principle is how we need to confess our sexual sins to a trusted Christian, not just to God. This will sap the sin away like moss is sapped away by sunlight, just like the verse that says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."-1 John 1:9. "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."-James 5:16. Another important principle (most important, actually) is that we should always seek the Lord through daily worship, prayer, and bible study, as in the verse that says, "his delight is in the law of the LORD,
    and on his law he meditates day and night.
    He is like a tree
    planted by streams of water
    that yields its fruit in its season,
    and its leaf does not wither.
    In all that he does, he prospers." This shows how someone depending on the Lord like a tree depends on nearby water source to survive is crucial to staying spiritually alive, especially in this evil age where godless moral freedom is encouraged.
    Those above three principles I believe are the essential parts of conquering this sin of lust. May God bless you and I hope you find these principles to be true for you too!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    4,256

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    I think most of us (men) can easily get sucked into porn. For me, I guard my eyes. What I mean by that is I don't watch the first video clip, much like not taking the first drink. What we feed the mind on the heart desires.
    I know what I know
    I know what I don't know
    I don't know what I don't know.

  12. #12

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Another tip: If you really need to censor something with emergency, I recommend you bring with you two permanent, biggest black markers you can find. Then you can censor sexually provoking pictures (in magazines, for example) without taking the time to throw them away (which, not destroyed, may tempt you to retrieve them later). This has saved me a lot of times.

  13. #13

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    Quote Originally Posted by rebornkings777 View Post
    I really need help, i mean i really mean it, this is not even funny at all, i have been an addiction the porn/masturbation, about almost 5 years, it really tough to stop, but to feel like a glue to my in head like a snap stuck, i am really fight battle with myself, still frustrating, so much struggling, i really need help, i have so much of like a jail of the guilty, i hate to feeling GUILTY. help me!
    Hello brother, I can relate to what you're saying. I've had struggles with porn and other sexually-charged material for extensive periods of time too. And I've also experienced periods of great success! I know how tremendous the guilt can be but something I came to realize through my success is do not feel guilty when you are feeling tempted!! You have a flesh that is highly vulnerable to certain triggers. Do NOT feel guilty about the guilt, and do NOT beat yourself up for being tempted...temptation is part of being in the flesh. HOWEVER...NEVER remain near temptation, and NEVER underestimate the power of temptation. In order to be successful you will need to put multiple safeguards around you to keep you far from those sensual "triggers". As you are doing this do not compare your life to anyone else's...do not wonder things like "why cant I go certain places like other guys do?", or "why can't I watch certain 'harmless' TV shows like other guys do?" because you gotta keep your eyes focused on what's best for YOU to keep your flesh away from temptation. Again, being tempted does NOT mean you've sinned, so do not feel guilty (which can lead to despair, powerlessness, and giving up). Always remember though that your flesh is susceptible to temptation ("WATCH and pray, for the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak"), but also remember that your body LOVES to be tempted. Just like a person with a sweet tooth loves the smell of cake, the flesh loves even the AROMA of things that are pleasure, even if it can't yet take a bite. So your flesh will always urge you to go closer and closer to things that "smell" pleasant or appear pleasing, and it will always rationalize. Just remember, the areas that you rationalize are often the areas that you are weakest.

    You can do it man. Believe me that you are not different than even the most devout Christian. Keep in mind Hebrews 12 says "therefore let US lay aside every weight and sin which so EASILY entangles us..." This verse was not written but some struggling addict...it was written by a man who (writing by the Holy Spirit) was annointed by God. So take those words seriously...even HE was speaking about how easily it to get entangled is sin. The difference between the Christian and the sinner is that the Christian constantly works to set up various safeguards in their life (aka: discretion, discipline, BEWARE signs, DO NOT ENTER caution tape) to keep themselves a healthy distance away from their weaknesses. Just like you will not see a fitness competitor spending their time admiring the cinnamon rolls at a bakery, so you as a spiritual competitor stay away from things that not only are counter productive to your deep goals (living free from porn & masturbation) but are a waste of time to even look at.

    The temptations can definitely be strong, but over time they definitely become easier if you are focused on the goal. And remember, your goal is not to stay away from porn. Your goal is to have a close relationship with your Maker. Focus on that because that's the truth of the matter. Don't be distracted by the porn issue, drawing closer to God will take care of that, and all other issues ("draw near to God and He will draw near to you"). Spend time in prayer, heavily. The Bible says Daniel prayed 3 times per day so faithfully that even the people around him knew his prayer schedule. Pray to God constantly, just pour out your heart to Him, thank Him, request of Him, meditate on the Word. Just everything to keep your mind on Him. And on top of this read the Bible daily and more. As much as you need...don't limit yourself. And write things down. What helps me most is writing down an "action plan" for times when I am alone, times when I am tempted. A few universal steps I can take that help set me straight. Because being tempted can almost put you in a trance like state. Having something concrete to read EVERY TIME you feel tempted is a tremendous help toward snapping your mind back into reality and out of lust la-la land. I hope you do well, and put alot of energy toward this. It takes effort, commitment, and resolve that does not give up. Just ust stay at it man, spending time with God WILL change you...that is priority #1...spend LOTS of time with God, and BEWARE the idle times! I hope the best for you brother, God Bless.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    308

    Re: a powerful of addiction in the porn, a worst darkness.

    I have to admit that I did not read this entire thread or even the whole starting post, and I have no experience with porn or with any form of addiction, so I'm not suited to give any advice or insight. I am only responding because a post about porn addiction on my church's website recently caught my eye. We have a special program called Celebrate Recovery that I believe is for many forms of addiction. It is modeled after a program that was begun at the Saddleback Church and has been used at many churches worldwide. I wonder if there is such a program available at a church near where the original poster lives?

    This is what they posted on my church's website about porn:
    Q: I look at pornography. Is that a problem? If so, what should I do about it?
    A: Anything that objectifies other people for our own consumption is problematic. When we "use" others to meet our needs, chances are we have dehumanized ourselves in the process. Jesus became fully human so that we might also become fully human—with no fears or addictions. Celebrate Recovery is a program we offer at Bel Air that deals with issues like this. Check it out in an "anonymous" environment. The groups are separated into male and female to make sharing with others with similar issues easier. We meet every Friday night! You may also want to meet with a pastor to discuss this more fully. You can call and ask for a meeting with any of our pastors.

    ---------------------------

    I know that there was once a minister from XXXChurch who spoke at our church about porn addiction, but it was for adults so I never attended it. I think they have their own website so you can probably find it through Google. Maybe there is compassionate and useful help available there.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Prayer for Porn Addiction
    By DimeBolt in forum Prayer
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: Apr 17th 2014, 10:35 AM
  2. Please Help Addiction to porn
    By JHR in forum Counseling Requests
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: May 11th 2013, 04:40 PM
  3. Question about porn addiction
    By Equipped_4_Love in forum Women at the well
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: May 20th 2010, 01:50 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •