Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 22

Thread: Churches handling personal issues

  1. #1

    Churches handling personal issues

    My mom left my dad, I hqd no idea but he uses drugs and apparently had increased his intakr, so she left and took me with her. The long term church she attended started pointing fingers and whisperings happened, so she left.

    She began attending another church for several months and decided she wanted to join. She took the membership cladd and signed up to be interviewed by an elder. At this interview, they asked about my dad and she told them the truth. They told her at this time they would put off membership because tphe wanted her to go to one of their counselors in order to see if she should join the church, he told her a counselor would call her. She, along with everyone else was shocked. She left there. They never called either.

    The Christian counselor she was seeing at that time told her she should go to a liberal church, he ended up being Lutheran.

    Now she attends a much smaller church, she likes it but no one knows what is going on with her. She attends a prayer meeting, she prays for them and asks for prayer with basic requests. She knows not to say anything.

    What is up with churches today? Seriously, tossing one of their own out.

    It has given me a bad taste for churches, pastors and all "religious" types. If you can't even attemp to act like Christ, then maybe they are in the wrong place.

    Last night she was tellung me other stuff with churched and my dad and it all the behavior makes me want to run far away from the church...and to God! Thank God HE welcomes us with oprn arms!!

    I can't help but think God is showing us something about churches today, or that church is not really for this.

    Does anyone have any ideas?

  2. #2

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    2 churches is a vary small sample size. I've never seen that in any of the churches I've been a member of. Not even the cult. Look around more.
    9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. - Galatians 6:9-10 NASB

  3. #3

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by jesusinmylife View Post
    2 churches is a vary small sample size. I've never seen that in any of the churches I've been a member of. Not even the cult. Look around more.
    Regardless, it happened. She has gone to many in the area, most are liberal and thankfully she doesn't buy into that. The one that rejected her is well known, about 5,000 members.

    Why is it believers just push this under the rug and act like it didn't happen, it's rejected.

    The church doesn't have the greatest reputation overall, how could you not hear? lol

    How do we fix this problem in our churches? Is it fixable?

  4. #4

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    I get you, trust me I've been burned by Churches too. I've remedied this by just seeking God in my own way; I read the Scriptures front to back as I can, I pray often, and I try my best to live for Him.

    Churches now days are sadly changing, in my opinion they're either going liberal which just isn't my cup of tea, or they're seeking wealth by going all mega. I miss the simple and smaller conservative Churches, sadly those are so hard to find these days.

    I'm sorry your mother has to endure this, just know this is not how Jesus is, in fact He teaches us to not gossip, and unfortunately those people were doing just that.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    Bellingham, Washington, USA
    Posts
    68

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    It is sad that your mother was treated like that. It happens more than most people realize. I have found that many "mega" Churches are sometimes worse in that regard.
    The Outlaw Bible StudentStudies on the Fringe of Christianity

    A Different Kind of Christian Website

  6. #6

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by OutlawBibleStudent View Post
    It is sad that your mother was treated like that. It happens more than most people realize. I have found that many "mega" Churches are sometimes worse in that regard.
    I've actually found the exact opposite to be true. In my personal experience.
    9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. - Galatians 6:9-10 NASB

  7. #7

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by OutlawBibleStudent View Post
    It is sad that your mother was treated like that. It happens more than most people realize. I have found that many "mega" Churches are sometimes worse in that regard.
    I think they are more concerned about money than people. She decided to hold off going for awhile. I don't blame her, I am not going anywhere either at this point.

  8. #8

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Some time ago a wise man said something about sick people needing doctors more than healthy people.

    Sadly a lot of churches either ignore the message of the gospel to get more people in the doors, or they expect people to get sorted out before they are welcome. A church that expects people to come in through the doors as ready-made holy men and women is about as much use as a doctor who tells sick people to get better and then go to see him.

    Equally sadly there are churches out there that serve no purpose beyond being a pious social club. Perish the thought someone would join the club who wasn't a fine upstanding individual in every respect. Just think, they might bring shame on the group. So they follow in the footsteps of Jesus, who is well known for telling the downtrodden to stop bothering him until they get their lives in order.

    It might not have been Jesus who did that, but some churches out there obviously didn't get that memo.

  9. #9

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonajero View Post
    Some time ago a wise man said something about sick people needing doctors more than healthy people.

    Sadly a lot of churches either ignore the message of the gospel to get more people in the doors, or they expect people to get sorted out before they are welcome. A church that expects people to come in through the doors as ready-made holy men and women is about as much use as a doctor who tells sick people to get better and then go to see him.

    Equally sadly there are churches out there that serve no purpose beyond being a pious social club. Perish the thought someone would join the club who wasn't a fine upstanding individual in every respect. Just think, they might bring shame on the group. So they follow in the footsteps of Jesus, who is well known for telling the downtrodden to stop bothering him until they get their lives in order.

    It might not have been Jesus who did that, but some churches out there obviously didn't get that memo.
    You have provided a good description of what happened with my mom, and since that time, we have heard many other stories of the same nature. People who are not even believers have been more helpful and open to help then believers (help in the sense of just being there, listening to my mom, going on hikes, just being a friend).It's like they put people in boxes and label you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Northeast Alabama
    Posts
    3,966

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    David, you have to understand that churches are filled with imperfect people. And yes, some church leaders wouldn't know a move of God if it were happening right in front of them. But don't make the mistake that so many make of taking a bad experience in the body of Christ and carrying that experience to another church that will genuinely care for you and your mother. I see it all the time. Know that there is a good church that is missing you and your mothers spiritual gifts and service.

  11. #11

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Pbminimum View Post
    David, you have to understand that churches are filled with imperfect people. And yes, some church leaders wouldn't know a move of God if it were happening right in front of them. But don't make the mistake that so many make of taking a bad experience in the body of Christ and carrying that experience to another church that will genuinely care for you and your mother. I see it all the time. Know that there is a good church that is missing you and your mothers spiritual gifts and service.
    Not saying it is so, but what if God is showing us something about our churches of today? What if He is teaching us there is another way to "do church"? Many other people have and are leaving the traditional type churches. Is this trend rebellion? If people are still meeting with other believers, doesn't this satisfy, where 2-3 meet?

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Northeast Alabama
    Posts
    3,966

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidC View Post
    Not saying it is so, but what if God is showing us something about our churches of today? What if He is teaching us there is another way to "do church"? Many other people have and are leaving the traditional type churches. Is this trend rebellion? If people are still meeting with other believers, doesn't this satisfy, where 2-3 meet?
    Nothing is new under the sun brother. Read the first few chapters of Acts and then the first few chapters of Revelation.. THE church is pure and undefiled , though filled with imperfect people. I see breaking away from organized "church" as a potential issue. And this is coming from a guy that plants churches. When we plant churches it's because there is no church there. And our desire is to get the church to look like the biblical model of the N.T. particularly the book of Ephesians. While it may start with 2-3 it sure was not meant to stay that way. A body that edifies will EQUIP it's members. Hard to do with 2-3 people who left church over hurt feelings to study alone, instead of expanding the kingdom and edifying one another. God has set up His church with specific instruction. We should strive to meet His expectation not our own.

  13. #13

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Pbminimum View Post
    David, you have to understand that churches are filled with imperfect people. And yes, some church leaders wouldn't know a move of God if it were happening right in front of them. But don't make the mistake that so many make of taking a bad experience in the body of Christ and carrying that experience to another church that will genuinely care for you and your mother. I see it all the time. Know that there is a good church that is missing you and your mothers spiritual gifts and service.
    You are absolutely right in this. The trouble is that most people can only take being rejected by those who claim to show Christ's love to the unlovely before they start to conclude that Christians as a whole are judgmental and hypocritical. That, too, is just human nature.

  14. #14

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Pbminimum View Post
    Nothing is new under the sun brother. Read the first few chapters of Acts and then the first few chapters of Revelation.. THE church is pure and undefiled , though filled with imperfect people. I see breaking away from organized "church" as a potential issue. And this is coming from a guy that plants churches. When we plant churches it's because there is no church there. And our desire is to get the church to look like the biblical model of the N.T. particularly the book of Ephesians. While it may start with 2-3 it sure was not meant to stay that way. A body that edifies will EQUIP it's members. Hard to do with 2-3 people who left church over hurt feelings to study alone, instead of expanding the kingdom and edifying one another. God has set up His church with specific instruction. We should strive to meet His expectation not our own.
    I don't think people are only leaving church over hurt feelings, it's not about that, it's about how we are supposed to have the power of God, bearing Fruit but all there is, is more world. It all looks like the world, that's sad.

    People plant churches for all kinds of reasons, they could be seeking riches, fame, or they could be thinking they can do it better than the church across the street. In my area, we have churches all over, it's not the case where there isn't a church.

    Jesus had an inner circle of 3, 12 disciples, look at how powerful God worked in such a small number.

    Who said anything about studying alone? Just because a group of people don't "go to church" doesn't mean they aren't the church.

    Why is it, people who go to traditional churches seem smug about it?

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Northeast Alabama
    Posts
    3,966

    Re: Churches handling personal issues

    I don't think people are only leaving church over hurt feelings, it's not about that, it's about how we are supposed to have the power of God, bearing Fruit but all there is, is more world. It all looks like the world, that's sad.
    Yes it is sad. And while I don't disagree with you , I will reiterate the danger in leaving the body of Christ ( not necessarily a particular church ) for ANY reason. You may have to look , but I would be willing to say that there is a decent enough church near you to attend. That is unless you live in China or the like.

    People plant churches for all kinds of reasons, they could be seeking riches, fame, or they could be thinking they can do it better than the church across the street. In my area, we have churches all over, it's not the case where there isn't a church.
    There are biblical reasons to plant churches and then there are not. There are biblical reasons for leaving a church, then there are not. I don't pretend to know your exact situation, but I am telling you that it can be dangerous. I ( and several other church leaders on this site ) could write a book about the people who just KNEW that they were justified to leave the body when God absolutely did not tell them go, get sifted like wheat. It's real.

    I can speak from actual experience here David so please hear me. To plant a church without specific call and instruction from God can be a recipe for disaster. There are places in the jungles where I just knew that we needed a church plant, but God had other plans, and as we waited, we realized why He didn't allow us there. Even Paul was told NOT to go to certain places, but only spent time where "doors of opportunity" were opened "for fruitful work". Gathering 2 or 3 in His name is awesome for bible study , or even at the onset of a church plant, so don't misunderstand me. But to remove yourself from the body and immerse yourself into a small group where you aren't equipped will leave you as an infant in Christ. And soon enough , just like almost everyone else who follows this pattern does.... you will grow to dislike "organized" church. Read the first four chapter of Ephesians. God calls people to edify and equip the saints. If this isn't happening, then you aren't having church brother.
    Jesus had an inner circle of 3, 12 disciples, look at how powerful God worked in such a small number.
    Apples and oranges. Read the first chapter of Acts.. What do you see ? An exact number of saints attending the first church service. then by the time you get to chapter 3 what happened ? BAMMM !!! the church exploded. God was equipping the church to reach the world. This is still what He is doing.

    Who said anything about studying alone? Just because a group of people don't "go to church" doesn't mean they aren't the church.
    Brother.... I love you in the name of Jesus, but without the body you have zero accountability. Please read what I'm saying and take it to heart. The problem with separating yourself voluntarily from the body of Christ is that not only will you suffer for it ( if it's not in God's will) but so will others who are needing you to equip and edify them ...Also you are splitting hairs here. I would say that your partly right as there are those who don't have churches to go to... but by your own admission, your not one of those people. I would also say that in the end when Christ comes back , that He gets His church.. we are His bride. Don't trivialize the body of Christ David. And I'm not insinuating that you are.

    Why is it, people who go to traditional churches seem smug about it?
    Smug ? Come on man. Really ? I'm shooting you straight and doing it out of love for YOU... If you hang around this board long enough you will see a pattern emerge. Those who have separated themselves from the body have the absolute worst doctrine and understanding of God on here. Look at the Bible chat thread on losing your salvation for instance. The man who is preaching "sinless perfection" .... wait for it .... has separated himself from the body of Christ. He is one example of MANY on this board who have done the same exact thing.

    Why do these things happen ? Because his "church" doesn't edify him, nor could it because it doesn't exist. He doesn't have the God called pastor as outlined in Ephesians to properly preach the word to him. So now , he has formulated his own doctrine and has bought in hook line and sinker into flat out heretical teaching. While I'm not saying you would do so, it's a reality that happens far more than you are aware of.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. 4 evangelizers arrested. Churches can't meet in hotels. Churches closed down.
    By L'Ange in forum Prayer for the Persecuted Church
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Mar 9th 2018, 01:31 AM
  2. handling dissapointment
    By James Akindele in forum Growing in Christ
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Sep 18th 2012, 10:49 AM
  3. - Handling Stress -
    By Shadrach in forum Devotions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Oct 24th 2009, 03:00 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •