Hello everyone.
I suppose I have never made any mistake as drastic as drugs or murder, but to me, the mistakes I have made in the past remain significant.
For example, in High School, I skipped a class and was fortunate enough to where my counselor knew that it was a one-time thing. I promised her it would never happen again, and it never did because I realized the error in my mistake. To this day, I still hold on to that. I cannot move past it. There are also a few personal things I would rather not mention, but it's common. Also, it seems that every little thing I had done whether it be ten years ago or a month ago keeps crawling back into my brain. I don't know why this is happening.
A month or so ago I began studying the Bible using the YouVersion app and following their study tools. I took my own personal notes and shared them with one of my friends who has been a Christian her whole life. She said my notes were outstanding for just starting. I, however, have not. My parents both believe in Christ, but when I grew up, we never went to church, nor did they teach me about God. I'm not calling them bad parents, by the way. Anyway, as I began to take on this independent study, it began right around the time my anxiety of the past grew. To me, the more I read about the Word and tried to connect with God, the less anxiety I had, and it seemed my life had gotten better in a sense.
I have been quite busy the last two weeks with a birthday, work and college related things. In my opinion, because I have been away from the Bible for so long and from my studies, it appears that my life has fallen all the way back down to where I started again. My anxiety is back, I'm making stupid mistakes at my job that I ordinarily would not do, and all the mistakes continue to cloud my mind. Maybe this is just me being paranoid, but I don't know.
What I'm trying to ask here for is if it's possible that God is trying to make me realize that the past was awful without Him, but the more that I focus on Him, it can get better. Is it?
As I'm going to try and continue to grow with God, I still need helping moving on from the past. And the mistakes I've been making the past few nights at work? They're so embarrassing. I honestly think I'm the worst one there some nights.
So there it is! That's what I've been struggling with. Please let me know what you think or if you have any scriptures you think could be helpful. It would be wonderful.
Thank you.
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