View Poll Results: Is "sleeping together" w/o s*x an acceptable behavior?

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  • Yes

    198 48.77%
  • No

    208 51.23%
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Thread: Sleeping?

  1. #1
    ahny06 Guest

    Question Sleeping?

    I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having s*x is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?
    Last edited by miepie; Aug 3rd 2004 at 05:33 AM. Reason: search key engine words

  2. #2
    BadCat Guest
    Edited by Mighty Mutt: Ages 13-25 only in this forum, please.

  3. #3
    ahny06 Guest
    You're saying that doing that will severely tempt one to keep moving and pushing the envelope, which will lead to s*x? Just wanted to clarify.
    Last edited by miepie; Aug 3rd 2004 at 05:34 AM. Reason: search key engine words

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    MN, USA
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    I think it's OK, IMO. As long as you still have your clothes on. If you find yourself slipping while doing this, stop.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
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    British Columbia- CANADA!!
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    Originally posted by SpartanII
    I think it's OK, IMO. As long as you still have your clothes on. If you find yourself slipping while doing this, stop.
    I tend to agree with SpartanII. But it also depends whether or not you really think you and your girl/boy friend are strong enough to not go further. My mom always told me that there are some things that aren't necessarly wrong in themselves [such as this] but are wrong at certain ages, (especially since a lot of teens seem to be unable to keep their hormones under control).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
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    British Columbia- CANADA!!
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    4
    Oh, I forgot to say "Welcome" to you
    ahny06! so, here it is:

    "Welcome to the board ahny06!"

    May be you'd like to introduce yourself in the Introductions Forum? I'm glad to hear that you've come back to Christianity. Was there something specific that occuring in your life that changed your mind about Christianity (if you don't me asking)?

  7. #7
    ahny06 Guest
    Thanks for your comments. In answering your question, I would say just general quality of life issues caused me to come back. I found out I never disbelieved, and had to have a moral authority.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Clevelandish, OH
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    145
    There are two aspects to practical Christian life.

    1. How we actually live and conduct ourselves as Christians.

    2. How others perceive we are living based on their knowledge of our beliefs.

    In this situation, you may not have "violated" part one: you just fell asleep next to each other watching a movie. A sin? Maybe not, but definitely a dangerous position to allow yourself to be in.

    Part two is just as important though. How many of those guys who think you're silly for vowing virginity may know what happened? All they may know is that you two spent the night together and they are more than happy to create their own conclusions.

    Therefore what may have been totally innocent can cause your witness to be damaged irrepairably in that circle of people.

    Now before you say that no one else knows what happened, that is not the point. In the big picture, you have allowed yourself to be in a situation where even if your maintained your convictions, others may not believe that. And remember, we are to live above reproach!

  9. #9
    No ,we need to reserve ourselves to project a christian example.And for our spiritual walk with Christ.love from me,Kate
    How majestic your whispers...what a wonderful God

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    United States
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    Part two is just as important though. How many of those guys who think you're silly for vowing virginity may know what happened? All they may know is that you two spent the night together and they are more than happy to create their own conclusions.
    Good insight, I never would have thought of that. As Christians, we are not to give off the appearance of evil, but Mighty Mutt's two cents suggest "sleeping together w/o s*x" can very well do that.

    Other than that, I see not much else wrong with cuddling up on the couch fully dressed and falling asleep. My husband and I used to do that at my parents' house (we were never there alone by the way, mom or dad was always home)while we dated. Just make sure there's no temptation to take it further.
    Last edited by miepie; Aug 3rd 2004 at 05:35 AM. Reason: key search engine words
    The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined.
    --Isaiah 9:2

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    MN, USA
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    22
    I'm surprised by the results of this poll. Most of you think it's not accepatable?? It seems to me like you're voting on what it may lead to in certain circumstances, not the act itself (which is the question of the poll).

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Hotlanta!
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    Like the Mutt said, if it can lead to sin, don't do it. If other people get the impression of sin, don't do it. If it is truly an innocent accident, I certainly don't think anything wrong has happened, and I wouldn't come down on anyone in that situation. I would probably wonder about a couple who lived and slept together, but claimed all was entirely chaste and Biblical (I knew a couple who made this claim for 3 years before finally getting married..., very odd).

    I'm not making claims about sin, only answering the question about what I thought about the issue.
    Be blessed,

    Nicholo
    I reserve the right to be convinced by others that I was wrong in anything I've said!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Savannah, GA
    Posts
    7
    It may be okay but is it wise?
    History Sighs,
    Repeats Itself

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    the foot of the Cross
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    27
    I think I'd have to say "yes" to the poll - an examination of Scripture doesn't lead me to believe that the act of an unmarried couple literally sleeping together with no s*xual intent is sinful. However, if you are a heterosexual male who can regularly cuddle up against a girl and never become even remotely aroused, you might want to consider seeing a doctor. If, as I suspect most of us would, you do get a little turned on by this, it's time to step back and take another look. Also important is the question of your witness that Mighty Mutt addressed very well above.

    Seek His kingdom and righteousness first. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Whatever you do, do for the glory of God.

    God bless and guide you...
    Last edited by miepie; Aug 3rd 2004 at 05:36 AM. Reason: search key engine words

  15. #15
    FirecrackerAdam Guest
    I agree with most of the other people's replies. There may be nothing technically wrong by doing this (especially if it's an accident, the way you two fell asleep watching TV, not sleeping in the same bed everynight.) but something else keeps coming to my mind. Is it wrong to kiss? Is it wrong to cuddle? I know several Christians, (mostly females) who feels this is somehow taking away ones pureness. I can't seem to find anything in the Bible that would point to some smaller physical affection as being wrong. Yet, I guess it would mainly lie in the whole 'tempation' thing. And hey, I didn't even think of the effect it would have on appearance. That was a really good call.

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